Okay, here's the deal... there is an extremely attractive German exchange student at my school, and I get to meet him on Monday.  I am freaking out hahahaha.  See, the first time I met him was the first day of school (When I was sadly in the wrong German class) and then promptly had to embarrass myself by gasping really loudly, "Oh my gosh, I'm in the wrong class!!!" and basically just hopping up and like booking it out of the classroom.  (I'm sure I was blushing too) 


     And ever since then I've just kept running into him but man, it's just so hard to just say "hi" or smile at him or something... and I just kind of think that Monday is going to fail, epically hahaha.  Oh well, at least I can say I tried.  =D 

So my cat Furby has been slowly yet steadily losing weight, and so finally we decided to take her to the vet today.  Well they said that there was nothing they could see wrong with her... until they found a half healed gash on her thigh, so they think that she's gotten thin due to fighting off an infection, and we've got antibiotics and everything is okay for now. 

However, Furby has to wear a cone on her head... and she hates it, and it breaks my heart.    Look at how freaked out she looks =[  It can't be healthy for her to be going through this at the age of 12.

 

Poor Furby =[[[  I feel so horrible (I'm also really worried about her being so close to the plug-ins but.. I've moved her twice already and she just keeps coming back to this spot and she's finally asleep so...)

     A British Invasion, to be exact.  XD  Somehow, while I was dinking around on Youtube a few days ago, I found this band called, "You Me At Six" and I'm really digging them.  Ironically enough, the day after I found out about You Me At Six, one of my good friends showed me the amazingness of Ed Westwick in which we spent an embarrassing amount of time fangirling hahaha. (I might have to start watching Gossip Girl now.)


     Anyways, school starts in about a week, and I still feel like I never really left.  This summer has been really busy with all the tutoring and band and whatnot so I'm pretty bummed to see the summer end, but excited too.  I feel like I haven't had a summer since I've had to get up at 9 Mon-Thurs. every week all summer, but I needed the tutoring so I guess it couldn't be helped. 

     I really feel that my sophomore year was my worst year academically, and emotionally but looking back on it, I think I grew up a lot as a person and as a student this last year and over the summer.  As much as I wish this wake up call would've come sooner, at least it came at all and I'm all geared up for this next school year.  I have finally got clear cut goals for what I want to do for the next two years and how I want to get there.  I have wonderful friends and family to support and back me up and guide me through these next two years. So 2010, here I come!

This whole "journal" thing kind of isn't working haha.  I suck so much at doing these things regularly, oh well what can you do?  I've had a particularly busy summer between tutoring, trying to figure out my schedule and hanging with my friends... but overall I'm really happy.  I don't know, I just had this epiphany during marching band (Great place for one I know hahaha) and I just figured a bunch of stuff out and things are really good now.  (I mean, not that they weren't before but... it's like, I realize that things are really good now and I really want to keep the momentum going.)  I just kind of stood back and was like "You know, there are things that I don't have in life, and there are things that I've done or quit that I regret but I don't want to waste my time looking back on it and agonizing over it."  so I'm really just trying to look forward now, and once I get school settled and get more on the ball with my clarinet... I'm going to try and get into the piano again and then maybe (if I'm feeling particularly ambitious) going to teach myself the acoustic (With the help of one of my friends who played the guitar haha hopefully.. if they're willing)  

So yeah, now that I kind of have like, all these set goals and everything I'm feeling really good about this year...

Goals For This Year (In case anyone was wondering... thought I'm not sure why since like, no one ever reads this except me haha)
1. Do not judge people (I'm pretty good at this already but... I still want to improve)
2. Talk to people more, be more proactive in my friendships
3. GET BETTER AT THE CLARINET
4. PICK THE PIANO UP AGAIN
5. LEARN THE ACOUSTIC GUITAR
6. GET STRAIGHT A'S
7. Meet new people, branch out my friendship circle
8. Get more involved in the music scene

... anddd, that's all the like, really good ones hahahahaha.  XDDD

So it's been like, how long?  Since I've written in this darn thing?  I guess it's just as well that no one ever reads this haha XD  No one to disappoint when I take uber long hiatus's.  Well, if you must know what I was doing for however long it's been since I've written... one word.......................  School.

Yes my friends, I've been sucked into the blackhole that is school.  T__T  Stupid honors classes, I have to try and up my 'C' in history to at least a 'B'  as well as my Physics, and I just have to PASS math this year.  T____T  German too, I want to bring my 'B' up to an 'A'.  Bah, why must virtually every class I'm taking be honors?  And why can't I be like my other friends who all have 'A's? 

*deep breath*

So yes, I'm just taking this one day at a time, so until the end of the school year, I might not post often.  =[  School, what can ya do?

However, in more lighthearted news, I may be able to skip a level in Japanese, if I do independent study over the summer!  *crosses fingers*  let's hope!  (now I just have to go and relearn Korean.. since you know, I kind of AM korean and thus should know it.  *Sigh* the curse of being a mix haha only one parent speaks korean to you.)

P.S. let's all hope that the sunny weather sticks around for a while, okay? 

Band kids rock... so hard.  Honestly, if you want to actually enjoy your highschool years, join band. 

When mom and dad laugh together

One Day...

I will not be afraid of what you think
A guy will do something ridiculously cute for me
I will stop worrying about everything and just live
I will be charming
I will travel the world
I will be able to be affectionate
I will consider myself special and talented
I will be someone's world
Someone will be my world
I will go paintballing and lasertagging
I will do what I love to do
I will be able to walk up to someone and talk to them
I will not be afraid to take the opportunities presented to me
I will not just survive, I will truly live
I will be content with who I am
I will walk through Central Park

Hmm, I don't know... hahaha, so many dreams.....

I think today was a very good day.  It's been a snow day every day this week, and I'm thinking tomorrow is probably going to be one as well because the snow started to melt today with the rain we got but the temperature dropped waaaay down so everything's frozen again.  =D We might even get a white Christmas! 

I may or may not have mentioned this but I am totally stoked on life right now.  =D 

However, when I woke up this morning I with a pretty bad sore throat and a fever so I hope I'm not getting sick, that wouldn't be too cool.  Oh well, what can you do?  ahahah. 


P.S. One week left until Christmas!!!  Enjoy it!!!

P.P.S. I want some tea.  *Sigh*

So I am aware that this is my third entry in one day all in like.... less then an hour but honestly, I think this deserves it's own blog.  (I bet no one else does though, hahaha.) 

It snowed today!!!  And we might have a white Christmas!  For the first time ever in my life!!!  Hahaha, because normally if (IF..) it snows over here, it snows in January for like one night and then the snow hangs around on the ground for a maximum of three days turning into disgusting slush before the rain takes care of it.  I can't ever remember it snowing in December.  =D  I'm hoping we'll get to miss school on Mon.  (Oh yes, I am a bad student with no motivation.  Hahaha.  XD)

P.S. the best way to spend a snow day?  Watching the 25 days of Christmas cartoons on ABC family.  =DDD

So, we have try-out music for All-City right?  And it's basically driving me crazy, I have spent the past few days playing these four or five measures OVER and OVER again and they're all 32nd notes and it's just *Headdesk*  so as of right now I don't even want to think of what all state music is going to look like.  T_T  I really need to find something to get me back into the clarinet again, haha because I've been wanting to play cello for almost three years now and I used to play the piano for about seven years before I was forced to quit to focus more on school.  (HOWEVER, I think I may be starting up again if I can convince my parents!!!  *Crosses fingers*)  So I think once I just you know... remember everything it'll be pretty easy to get back into that groove.  So that's good but, clarinet right now is just ugh, I don't want to think about it.  (Which is probably bad.... ) oh well, I'll get back into it once try-outs are over hopefully. 

So basically, this is just an entry about how utterly stupid I am sometimes.  Ahaha, or as I like to convince myself, how small my room is.  XD 

Two years ago we moved into my new house and ever since then I have been stubbing my toe on the left bottom corner of my bed, and it's not like I'm even doing anything odd like dancing or something... I'll just be walking to my closet to get some clothes, or to my stereo to adjust the volume or something and then BAM!  I stub my toe.  Now, I've had some pretty awful bruises from said stubbing of my toe.  A few times I've even almost broken my toe, and I almost always hear a loud "crack!" nowadays when I stub my toe. But basically, my toe is like numb with pain for a few minutes then it starts to hurt like a bitch and then I can't walk straight for a few days.. then it goes away!  But yeah, today apparently it was not meant to be. 

I was walking to my closet to put my clothes away and I stubbed my toe yet again on my bed, and so it stung really bad which I thought was kind of odd but I didn't think much of it and went and started to put clothes away.  Well, a few minutes later I glanced down at my toe and noticed it was bleeding.... pretty badly.  So I hobbled over to the bathroom, got out some peroxide and other first aid stuffs.  Well, my mom hears me going "ow ow ow." while I was dabbing the blood from my toe and FLIPS out.  We didn't have any band aids in the upstairs bathroom so my mom's like "Stay right there, I'll go get some band aids."  and gives me like a billion tissues to staunch the bleeding.  Haha, and the whole way down and then back up again she's just like, "Aigoo, ottokae???"  (Basically, "Oh, what do I do??")  and so she comes up with four band aids (Keep in mind that this is just my second smallest toe...) (Thanks though mom, for caring so much about my second smallest toe.  =D ) and she gets up and puts peroxide on my toe after I had already put some on.  (More like she drenched my toe)  and so finally the bleeding slows enough so that I can see what's bleeding so bad and I notice I have a vertical cut on the tip of my toe so after some careful examination of my bed I have figured out that about an inch into the bottom of my bed there is a sharp piece of metal sticking out from it.  T____T 

So basically, now I'm hobbling around with a bloody toe all because my room is too small, my bed is too old and I am far, far too unlucky.  Hhahahaha, (Okay fine... maybe I'm also a little clumsy.. just a little bit though...) 

It's kind of a really anti-climatic entry but oh well, I thought it was funny.  XD  Especially how much my mom freaked out.  Poor mom, she never would've survived if she had sons.

Yeah, you know that "cute boy who I'll never see again" that I ranted about in my last blog?  Yeah well, turns out I see him everywhere now.  T__T  And quite frankly, I can't figure out whether I'm happy or sad about the fact that he doesn't seem to recognize me.  (Probably for the best though.)

P.S  Will post another blog in a minute... haha I've got quite a lot to blog about.

     That the one time you want to look elegant and feminine and sophisticated and all that other stuff, is the one time you make an absolute fool out of yourself? 

     Seriously, I was waiting for class to start and this guy walks in and sets his stuff down in the seat next to mine.  I had never seen him before but he was fairly attractive.  So, me, being the smooth man-eater that I am (haha) just tilted my head and stared at him.  (I can hear all of the feminists crying out in frustration... trust me, I feel the same way.  *headdesk*)  So he looks up from rifling through his bag and meets my eyes (It was only after he left that I realized that I in fact looked like crap.  T_____T  Whyyyy must life be so cruel?)  Anyways, he saw me staring at him and copied me, tilting his head to the side.  I was trying to figure out who he was and if I was in the right class so, being the eloquent and educated woman that I am, I asked him who he was.  (*Crawls in hole*) 

     Thankfully, he laughed and went back to rifling through his stuff, pulling out a paper a few minutes later and heading back to turn it it.  He returned a few minutes later and began packing up his stuff, with another girl from my class talking to him.  (Oh yes, pathetic little me was still staring at him, and I thought I was over my shyness.................. apparently that only holds true around other girls and non-attractive guys.)  So, he's obviously a friendly guy right?  He's laughing and joking with the other girl and she finally asks him what he was doing in class.  He glanced past her to me and said, "Why, do you not want me here?"  She, of course denied it and just stated she was curious.  He in turn laughed and turned back to her, "Yeah, I know you're probably confused, the girl over there was staring me like 'Who are you???' " 

     Insert blush here. 

     Yeah, it was pretty bad, and when I tried to apologize he just waved it off with a (really nice) laugh which made me apologize even more and it was just over all clumsy and bad and just, I didn't even get his name!!!!  *headdesk*  yes ladies, I am officially an embarrassment to my own gender.  I'm sorry haha, I just don't have a suave bone in my body.  Oh well, I'll never see him again so it's all good.  hahaha, but it would've been better if he wasn't so nice so I could be like, "He was attractive but oh my gosh does his personality suck."  But alas, I'm stuck thinking, "He may not have been the most attractive guy but oh my gosh he's got the nicest personality."  

     P.S.  after I got home, I went into the bathroom to take a shower and realized to my horror that

1. I had not taken a shower earlier that day
2. my hair was coming out of it's pony tail (and not in an attractive way) and
3. I was wearing the jacket that made me look.... poofy. 

*Cries*    Love is a cruel, cruel mistress. 

P.P.S. in other news, we got our concert music today and I'm liking it quite a lot!  =D  Must do lots of practicing for try-outs and see what I can do about getting started on the violin and/or cello or restarted on the piano!